Improving your relationship with food is a journey that requires time, patience, and a shift in mindset. A positive relationship with food involves having unconditional permission to eat the foods that make you feel good both physically and mentally. It means rejecting labelling foods as "good" or "bad" and removing guilt from eating. Achieving this isn't an overnight task; it’s a continuous process, much like maintaining a relationship with a significant other, friend, or family member.
Before you can work toward a good relationship with food, it’s crucial to identify the signs and symptoms of a bad relationship with food. This understanding forms the foundation for making meaningful changes.
Guilt after Eating: Feeling guilty about eating certain foods.
Restricting “Bad” Foods: Avoiding foods that you consider unhealthy.
Rigid Food Rules: Having strict rules about what you can and cannot eat.
Reliance on Calorie Counters: Using apps or calorie counters to decide when you’re done eating.
Ignoring Hunger Cues: Not listening to your body's natural hunger signals.
Yo-Yo Dieting: Frequently starting and stopping diets or following fad diets.
Social Anxiety around Eating: Feeling stressed about eating in social settings due to fear of judgment.
Restricting and Binging: Alternating between restricting food and binge eating.
You don’t need to experience all these signs to have a bad relationship with food. Any form of shame, guilt, stress, or fear regarding food indicates that your relationship with food could improve. It's also important to acknowledge that your relationship with food can change over time. Sometimes you may feel completely free with your food choices, while other times you might experience guilt. The goal is to have more positive experiences with food than negative ones, treating yourself with patience and kindness.
A good relationship with food is like any other healthy relationship—it takes time, practice, and patience. Recognizing that your relationship with food goes beyond merely fueling your body is crucial. Humans eat for various reasons, such as joy, pleasure, culture, tradition, socialization, and nourishment.
Signs of a Good Relationship with Food:
Unconditional Permission to Eat: Allowing yourself to eat any food you enjoy.
Respecting Hunger Cues: Listening to and respecting your body's hunger signals.
Balanced Eating: Eating when hungry and stopping when full.
No Off-Limit Foods: Not restricting any foods.
No Obsession with the Scale: Not letting your weight dictate your food choices.
Freedom from Judgment: Not allowing others' opinions to influence your eating habits.
No Need for Justification: Feeling no need to explain your food choices.
Self-Value Beyond Food: Understanding that your worth isn’t determined by what you eat.
Moderation: Enjoying all foods in moderation.
Feeling Good: Choosing foods that make you feel your best.
Calories Aren’t the Focus: Not fixating on calorie counts when making food choices.
If this list seems overwhelming, remember that many people struggle to abandon the diet mentality ingrained by diet culture from a young age. Rather than trying to achieve all these points at once, focus on one at a time, moving at your own pace.
Taking the first step to improve your relationship with food involves embracing your unique journey and personal history with food. Here are practical tips to help you get started:
A cornerstone of a healthy relationship with food is allowing yourself to eat freely. Creating strict rules about when and what you can eat sets you up for feelings of deprivation and fear. Whether you overeat at lunch or indulge in dessert, you deserve to eat when you’re hungry or want to. Your body deserves nourishment no matter the circumstances.
Everyone is born with the natural ability to regulate hunger. Children, for example, can easily tell when they’re hungry or full. However, societal influences often cause people to lose this ability. Encouragement to clean your plate as a child, for instance, teaches you to ignore fullness cues and rely on external factors to determine when to stop eating. Diet culture further complicates this by promoting arbitrary calorie limits. Reconnecting with your body’s natural hunger signals helps better regulate your appetite and manage food intake.
Mindful eating is essential for repairing a bad relationship with food. It involves being fully present during meals and eating without distractions like phones, TV, or books. By focusing on the taste, texture, and enjoyment of food, you can better tune into your body's hunger and fullness signals. Mindful eating also encourages you to consider why you're eating. Are you truly hungry, or are you eating out of boredom or emotional need? Reflecting on these questions without judgment can help you understand your food choices and develop healthier eating habits.
Labelling foods as “bad” gives them unnecessary power. While some foods are more nutritious than others, no single food will dramatically impact your health. Restricting certain foods often leads to heightened cravings and eventual overindulgence, a phenomenon known as "counter-regulation." By allowing all foods in your diet, you can better regulate your intake and reduce cravings. Over time, frequent exposure to all foods can diminish their appeal, a process called habituation.
Stop justifying your food choices to yourself or others. Allow yourself to eat foods that feel best for you in the moment without needing an excuse. This approach helps you make food decisions based on your needs and preferences rather than external pressures or guilt.
Your relationship with food is complex and deeply rooted in personal history. Sometimes, professional support from dietitians, therapists, or healthcare providers is necessary to address and resolve food-related issues. These professionals can offer personalized guidance and strategies to help you navigate and improve your relationship with food.
Improving your relationship with food is a personal and ongoing process. It involves seeing food as more than just fuel, welcoming all foods without guilt, and understanding that your value isn’t determined by what you eat. By taking small, manageable steps and seeking professional help when needed, you can develop a healthier, more positive relationship with food.
Remember, food is not inherently good or bad. The labels we place on it give it power. Embracing a good relationship with food means allowing yourself to eat freely, listening to your body's cues, and treating yourself with kindness and patience. Taking the first step is challenging, but the long-term benefits to your overall well-being make it worthwhile.
